it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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