The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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