Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
