Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize