so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
