Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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