I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
