I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
It's Friday. Sex?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
