Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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