you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I got her a Nickelback box set.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
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