I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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