yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
