awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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