I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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