The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
