She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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