she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
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