sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
your like the ambassador to my penis.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
We are all done wearing pants today
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
