Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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