just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
