you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
