i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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