I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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