Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Do vagina's smell?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
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