I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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