what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
tequila makes me forget i have legs
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
