Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Randomize
