We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
