We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
