i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
