Sponge bath it is.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
