Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry agentsmith hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(248): View more from Michigan

Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?

Fav 24 7402 1058
share tweet
(416): View more from Toronto

Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit

Fav 17 1297 3939
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(520): View more from Arizona

Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.

Fav 7 4064 1315
share tweet
(214): View more from Texas

Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem

Fav 6 3769 1084
share tweet
(970): View more from Colorado

I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines

Fav 9 3236 1500
share tweet
(910): View more from North Carolina

It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.

Fav 10 2106 1524
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.

Fav 12 1980 1551
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(919): View more from North Carolina

There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.

Fav 0 615 666
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(713): View more from Texas

Did he pick you up in a mini van?

(281): View more from Texas

Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy

Fav 0 17 83
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT