he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
