i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
