Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I just blew my weed a kiss
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
