I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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