i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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