I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
