I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
