It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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