Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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