But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
