Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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