How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
you are never too drunk for berry picking
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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