whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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