I wish i was in the wii world.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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