Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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