Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
