yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
