Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
