He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
