You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I just threw up on my dentist
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
