do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
