SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Randomize
