How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize