i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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