Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
