So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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