I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
