Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
