I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
don't judge my taste in strippers
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Let's get the cat blown out
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
