Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
