Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?

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(816): View more from Missouri

dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?

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(712): View more from Iowa

I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.

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(248): View more from Michigan

it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar

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(678): View more from Georgia

Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.

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(517): View more from Michigan

last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??

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(518): View more from New York

in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility

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(218): View more from Minnesota

We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?

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(702): View more from Nevada

I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.

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