So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
