Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
