My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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