it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
