My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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