fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
