im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
