your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
