FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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