my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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