She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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