i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
