I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
