In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Randomize